(with thanks to my BC cohort. one of the reasons I loved grad school was the chance to write things like the what’s below. I followed it up with insightful and beautifully academic commentary, I swear.)

I’ll just say things in Agamben.
Then not even Google can help you.
why does no one outside BC care about Agamben?
i run out of foreign languages at latin and mexican restaurant spanish.
ur nemo Agamben apud collegium discit?
you just suckered another person into this thread.
I decided to come do one of my rare facebook checks and your entries are taking up half my home page. There is clearly a positive correlation between your facebook usage and your level of procrastination. Not that I’m judging.
I am utilizing the magnificent resource that is facebook to get pressing questions answered re: The Important Work I Am Doing. (You will have noticed, of course, that all my posts are intelligent and school-related.) Also, fb is the only kind of social interaction I will have until tuesday, so i think it’s Really Healthy for me to be here. Talking. with other people. about important things. 
I’m stealing your entire lesson plan on interviews. I may need to consult with you before September about how exactly to plagiarize your idea. Thanks.
just finished my Agamben paper. amazed I still seem to be able to type in English. we’ll see when I check this post tomorrow.
remember how i was going to come back and keep writing? five beers and one eve 6 album (sung along to, natch) later, i have written nada.
This perfectly characterizes my feelings while working on my Agamben paper. “We might not really be able to fully wrap our heads around it, but I think we’ve got the logic of it.”
That presupposes the existence of logic in Agamben.
I can’t grasp your logic here. This needs a clear thesis and an organization that proves your points in a logical progression.
The coming paper is the whatever paper. Also, I can’t not not write my paper.
I hear Agamben is actually just a bunch of ducks in an Agamben suit. See what you can do with that.
I am a contemporary of my paper because I see its darkness. It only exists in the time that remains . . . because I haven’t written it.
the saved paper is the unsaveable one; thus, my paper is ???
We are opening the like button to new uses.
Let’s just face it, if you post something on facebook sometime between now and when my last paper is due, I will like it.
It’s not like they are rare/valuable.
I’m going to control your like inflation by liking everything you post now.
I like the way you are profaning my likes to make them into pure means.
it’s only a matter of time before this convo lures her away. are you still theoretically working or has that train left the station for the evening?
Welp. I finished my syllabus and theorized rationale. I wrote seven pages in three hours. I was sufficiently impressed with myself to stop. Not that I should have.
i love how, because i have yet to respond to a conversation started FOURTEEN MINUTES AGO, it is assumed that i am in a coma! LOL
Whatever. I’m not impressed with your achievement. I may live in squalor, but at least I’m up to the minute on all of my facebook chains.
Aw man the kitchen song is stuck in my head in a huge way! It’s okay though, I kinda like it, because before that I was singing that Vampire Weekend song “Peter Gabriel” for 3 days straight. “IS YOUR BED MADE?! IS YOUR SWEATER ON?!”
 I’ve been repeating, over and over, burri-burri-burrito, a three dollar TREAT! (they were cheap in pdx.)
this is awesome. in my unit on food arguments/issues my class is going to have a video day where we watch these and talk about rhetorical situation and rhetorical triangles and whatnot. mostly I just want to play videos. do you think 18 year olds will be properly reverent toward the matrix?
forget the matrix, it’s all about star wars. or GROCERY STORE WARS that is.
exsqueeze me?
Not sure how a cannoli can speak for the organic farm industry though…nevertheless, brilliant.
it’s not just any cannoli! it’s obi-wan cannoli! …i’m sure he’s gluten-free, agave-sweetened, and whole-creamed with the power of the force.
what is it with you people and eating out? i guiltily chewed my pop tarts while writing up an assignment about unhealthy food practices.
Cheez-it/coffee dinner. I love you, but thinking about your course inquiry as it relates to me in this moment is a horrifying reality check.
I’m still sipping away on my box ‘o joe. talk about a horrifying reality. i hope i can teach this stuff with a straight face.
I’m glad one of your questions last week wasn’t “who here is a stress eater?” or “who here ate out more than 5 times this week?”
I’ll reintroduce fruits and vegetables into my diet next week. 
You know what I could use for sheer entertainment value right now? A drunken pelican.
i think i’m caught up to where you were last friday. I WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE. and i am not usually given to dramatic overtones.
…and because i am a good middle child, I will allow everyone else their histrionics while I quietly retreat to the corner where I will whimper quietly at my laptop.
I’m the youngest. I figured someone else would do it for me.
I’m the oldest. Just email me your syllabi and I’ll finish them for you.
(Then hold it over your head for the rest of your life.)
i knew there’d be a catch.
since asking fb is quicker than searching through my terribly scrawled notes: how many weeks of FWS conferencing are supposed to be on the syllabus?
The answer is 42. (If you haven’t read that book, we can’t be friends.)
but what’s the question? ….oh, right. i already asked it.
Are you guys putting conferencing on your syllabus? I thought I could figure that out closer to the semester.
anyone have any good ethnography readings?
8 times. me and banana have it factored into the syllabus
you would. *angry flounce*.
This post is butting into your conversation to continue procrastinating instead of finishing my Tom Wolfe paper. You may now return to your discussion, which has nothing to do with me. :)
it’s okay to be jealous. 
speaking of procrastination, I been workin’ hard and ignoring you fools for awhile so I decide to take a quick break. and i think Hmm, i wonder if any mitch hedberg is on grooveshark. and that was half an hour ago and i can’t control myself or my laughter in the library. sorry fellow library patrons.
moral of the story. listen to mitch and laugh with me.
it’s not like a minimum of 8 times, right? like, if I have 8 and not 9 times on my syllabus, do I look like a slacker?
I really wish you hadn’t reminded me of the existence of Mitch Hedburg right now.
if you have 9 times, you look like a masochist
i wish I hadn’t thought of him either. i am a masochist.
when i said “obama 2012?” I meant michelle. the president should know how to dougie.
so, when i realized about ten minutes ago that I’m currently the only person in the basement of bapst, I started dougie-ing. then a library guy came down and told me they were shutting down the section and I have to go upstairs. i was mid-dougie. awwwkward.
i’m proud of you.
I’ve just revamped my teaching unit for tomorrow. call me mobama, we’re gonna dance.
I am wondering what “soreen” is. Anyone? The website says “fruity malt loaf” and “deliciously squidgy energy.” I have no idea what malt loaf is but who WOULDN’T want squidgy energy?
squidgy sounds like a grossy to me.
‎…but it’s supposed to be delicious! can both exist in one form? and will that form go well with the giant box of coffee sitting next to me right now?
maybe soreen explores the tension between diametrically opposed textures and flavors, presenting, if not a solution, a positing of taste-questions for its diner. or whatever.
the most interesting research i’ve done today:
adj squidgier, squidgiest
soft, moist, and squashy
[of imitative origin]
i don’t say “embodied” once in my paper. is this a problem? 
what if i’m working from a pretty rare text of folklore and fairy tales, Yeats wrote those too but a sort of on the DL, that doesn’t have page numbers and well, you’ve never heard of it, it’s super rare and stuff, I mean, it IS my area of expertise, how do I cite that?
The 2007 MLA handbook has a special chapter on citing rare Yeats folklore.
what? really? NO! it’s MY special area of expertise! at least the years 1850-1900! MLA HAS NEVERRRRRRR ENCOUNTERED MY SCHOLARSHIP BEFORE!
‎(lay off the coffee m. also, joseph harris is telling me to be charitable.)
I wish I had jumped on this sooner, to answer “Parnell?”
It’s never too late to mention Parnell.
you got out of bed? that’s great!
And yes, I got out of bed. I know you’re all impressed. Just goes to show you, you’re much more productive when you just stay in bed.
that’s my LOOK! PUPPIES! face
roger that. i have the occasional fleeting moments of what feels like elegant, creative thought quickly followed by hours of black despair. progress, I guess.
my face has hurt with the force of constant mental cognition for the past week..
dear cohort, a word of warning: next semester I am throwing elbows to be the first one to sign up for every presentation and/or teaching unit date. i am a slow sucker no more.
“’tis the only palate affair that I am at all sensual in.” Keats said it about claret, I say it about tea. Now help me write this damn paper, mao xie oolong.
god i’m hungry
Pippa = English major. Did we know this?
surely we should have. i mean, she’s just like us, right? she knows the secret handshake?
this means my sisters have failed me. jerks. i’ll now have to become a royal socialite all on my english-degreed own.
isn’t it funny how every final paper is the worst thing you’ve ever written?
I like to set my personal worst each semester. But it’s still up in the air as to whether that will be my Agamben paper or my Revival paper.
it’s all about setting goals. OK I’M NOT COMMENTING ANYMORE.
Goal: don’t get on facebook for the next hour.
how’s that working out, eh?
fail. 45 minutes?
stop trying to trick us.
i just spent an hour waiting in carney and another twenty minutes getting my question sort-of-answered-but-i-realized-not-really-once-i-left-the-office. thus my facebook time is justified. my obsessive clicking through the royal wedding flikr is a different story.
I am rewarding myself for finally finishing the first page of my Revival paper by getting online.
this is a disgrace. we are disgraceful.
I’m using Facebook as a reward for reading a chapter. It’s less fattening than chocolate.
this is a monument to procrastination
I already finished all the ice cream in my apartment (three pints. three days)
I realized today that I ate ice cream for dinner for three days in a row. Partly because none of my dishes are clean. An upside of not being responsible?
good news: i wrote a paper…and i don’t hate it! except the intro. i really hate the intro. TIME FOR A BREAK
weighing in: living in squalor, eating cheez-its for 3 meals, not making any progress on papers. bah.
do we think introductory paragraphs are REALLY necessary?
overrated. I neglected to write one on a close-read for romanticism and got mad props for it. seriously.
You could also do as I do and write 3-page-long introductions, which are not really introductions at all. I’m not sure how I’m allowed to be a writing tutor.
i’ll put a post-it on it and tell him that introductions are overrated and that he should thank me for sparing him having to read one
introductory post-it
or something just like “Final paper, in which I discuss Ernie O’Malley thusly…”
Write the whole thing on post-its. Resist the man (MLA, graduate school, finals . . .).
Nice. That’s a great plan. Can I post-it a conclusion? Conclusions are the worst part for me.
I think the professors will respect that kind of innovation.
Look at us. We can single-handedly revolutionize comp theory with post it notes!
or fb status updates.
After each Derrida quotation I use, I’m going to post-it “insert paraphrase here.”
hahaha. post-it 2: “this is where i would put additional supporting evidence for my argument.”
post-it # 3: “intelligent link to the text.”
This strategy has serious promise.
My paper is coming together nicely thanks to this new method.
this is the best part of grad school.
I just discovered this thread and I like everything that’s happening on it.
Paper procrastination brings out the best in people’s facebook performances, don’t you think?
I blame all of you for the sorry state of my productivity today.
guys, i was away from the comment thread for the last hour! this is due in large part to having a eureka moment in my apt where i was doodling and suddenly shouted “AUTONOMY!” at the top of my lungs and began furiously writing. but my enthusiasm has been cashed, so im baaaack! MISSED YOU, comment thread!
So…I just rewarded myself for a few hours of work with a trip to the used bookstore.
Biggest. Nerd. Ever.
as much as it pains me to portray enema of the state-era blink-182 as sexist, it’s a) a huge help to my paper and b) actually kind of true
ten hours of writing, six pages completed. papers finished: none.
facebook, facebook, gotta post things on facebook
everybody’s looking forward to next weekend
facebook, facebook, gotta post things on facebook
everybody’s looking forward to next weekend
okay that’s all I have so far
heard at this table a moments ago: “please pass the derrida.”
i’ve surpassed my usefulness in papering tonight. it’s bud lime time.
That is lit-rally the best use of punctuation I’ve ever seen.
it’s only a matter of time before she sees the email from FB. we’re like FB zombies. one way or another, we will get your brain.
I’m glad I’m not at this peer-pressuring study cell.
TRUTH = NUDITY. This is what I came up with in the last half an hour and it revolutionizes two pages of my essay . . . i felt you should know
just got naked in an effort to engender greater truth in the final 8 pages of my paper. :D
i was about to comment, but that just outdid any reply i could have possibly conceived.
This was the funniest/best thing about my day so far.
May the force(s) be with us.